


The Worst Patient

by Geminia (Geminia905)



Category: Hercules: The Legendary Journeys
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2000-04-03
Updated: 2000-04-03
Packaged: 2018-01-09 00:37:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1139373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Geminia905/pseuds/Geminia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An answer to the 'A to Z Challenge' on the GoldApple mailing list. When Iolaus is sick, who really suffers?</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Worst Patient

"Alright! Get back in that bed right now!"

"But, Herc..."

Cerulean eyes met aqua as the hunter put on his best pout. He'd been stuck in this bed for three days already and he was ready to get up.

"Don't 'but, Herc' me! You are going to stay in that bed until the healer says you can get up."

Even though he found it very unfair, Iolaus sat back on the bed, crossing his arms, stubbornly refusing to lie down.

"Four days in bed for a little fever?! C'mon, Herc, even you have to admit that's ridiculous!"

"Gods, Iolaus, look around at how many have died in this village from this 'little fever'!"

"Herc--"

"Iolaus--"

Just at that moment, the door opened and the healer walked in. He looked at the two men and shook his head. He'd known from the start that Iolaus wouldn't be an easy patient.

"Keeping him in bed is good. Keeping him lying down is better."

"Laying him out would work, wouldn't it?" The demigod gave his friend a threatening look.

"Maybe, but it'd just give me more work." The healer chuckled. He felt sorry for Hercules, knowing that worry and frustration were taking their toll. "We could just tie him up," he suggested and waited for the hunter's reaction.

"No way! I'll lie down for a bit longer if you want, but no tying!" The hunter lay back down, giving both of his 'tormentors' a scathing look. "So how long do I have to stay in this bed anyway?"

"Only three more days. If no other symptoms have appeared by then, we'll know you're going to be fine." He smiled at the two warriors and left the room.

"Please close your mouth, Iolaus, that's really not an attractive expression." Hercules couldn't help being amused by his friend's reaction to the news, though he did feel sorry for the hunter. "It won't be that bad. Look at it this way, that's another three days of being pampered."

Quintessential Iolaus, the thought of being waited on hand and foot for another few days eased his suffering just a bit, though it wouldn't pay for the demigod to know that.

"Really, Herc, I'm fine!" He started to get up and then flopped back, moaning. "Maybe you're right. I'm a bit weaker than I thought." He looked up at his friend, in feigned misery. "Herc, could you please fluff my pillow?" he asked in a decidedly whiny voice.

"Sure. Why not?"

The demigod picked up his friend's pillow, gave it a couple fluffs and brought it down. . .holding it over his friend's face for a couple seconds, before laying it aside.

"Unfair! Unfair! Picking on an invalid. You should be ashamed!"

"Very true, but not as ashamed as you should be for that horrible acting job! 'Weak' my-!"

"Well, if that's the way you feel, I guess there's really no reason for me to stay in this bed, is there?" The hunter quickly rolled off the other side of the bed, keeping it between himself and the demigod.

"Xanthas!" Hercules hollered for the healer. "Bring a rope!"

"You're NOT going to tie me up!" the hunter yelled as he saw the healer open the door, trying to see what the commotion was all about.

"Zagreus, deliver me from this torment, but first tell me something," the healer muttered the prayer under his breath, "If he's the patient, why are we the ones suffering?!"


End file.
